Intent


On Saturday afternoon, my 11-year-old was having some big feelings.

As her mom, I deeply wanted to comfort her. But my attempts to first talk it through and then my offer of a hug were met with more feelings.

It was only the next day that I realized where I had gone wrong.

I was having some big feelings of my own when my husband asked me:

Do you want a hug, help, or to be heard?

The impact of my well-intentioned offers of support to my daughter only made her more upset, because in that moment she didn’t want a hug or help.

She wanted to be heard.

Intent vs. Impact

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been ruminating on intent vs. impact.

As empathetic people who care about other humans, so often we do things with the best of intentions.

But sometimes the impact of what we say or do has consequences that unintentionally causes pain, annoys people, or diminishes trust.

This gap between intent and impact doesn't just happen in our homes or interpersonal interactions.

It can also show up in our email marketing.

In this space, we don’t have the benefit of tone and nuance and body language that helps when communicating with people in real-time.

Add in the unique challenges of automation, where often times intent is programmed in advance….and whoboy, sometimes it can really make things worse.

When email marketing goes sideways

Here’s some ways where our good intentions in email marketing might lead to unintended impacts:

To welcome or not?

I'm a huge proponent of welcome sequences as a tool to automatically welcome in new subscribers to your world.

Your intent? To nurture relationships and provide value from day one.

The potential impact?

If you don't set clear expectations about how many emails to expect in what time frame, new subscribers might feel bombarded and wonder if they’ve signed up for a daily newsletter.

On the flip side if you skip a welcome sequence entirely because you don't like receiving them. Totally fair!

But what if you’re in the middle of a heavy promotional period?

New subscribers finds themselves launched right into the middle of. Your well-planned out launch comes across as hard-selling.

Countdown timers

Countdown timers in emails are a perfect example of the intent/impact divide.

Sometimes they’re used to create artificial scarcity and manipulate people into buying faster. So for this reason, maybe you avoid them altogether.

But what about the positive impact they can have for neurodivergent audiences who benefit from visual time management cues? Or people in different time zones?

The same tool can have wildly different impacts depending on both your intention and your audience's needs, and how you set them up.

Technical mishaps

Let's say you carefully set up an automation to respect people's preferences, letting them opt out of a specific launch while staying on your main list.

Your intent is golden: respecting your subscribers' boundaries and giving them agency over their inbox experience.

But what if the tag is configured incorrectly, and people who clicked "no thanks" keep getting launch emails?

The impact isn't just annoyed subscribers. It's damaged trust.

We all make mistakes! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Let me be transparent: I've made many mistakes over the years.

I've created automation that didn't work as intended. I've overwhelmed new subscribers, or accidentally ghosted them. I've sent emails to people who thought they had opted out.

The reality is that we're all going to make mistakes. The question isn't if, but when – and more importantly, how we respond when we discover the gap between our intentions and impact.

Some practical solutions

So how do we align our intentions with our actual impact in email marketing? Here are some practical approaches:

1. Test, test, and test again

Before launching any new freebie or promotion

  • Send test emails to yourself
  • Ask a trusted colleague to sign up and test it out themselves
  • Click through every link and check every redirect

2. Communicate expectations

  • Tell subscribers what they're signing up for and how often they'll hear from you
  • Make your unsubscribe and preference options prominent and easy to use
  • When launching something new, explain how it will affect email frequency (and how they can opt out)

3. When you mess up, own it

When you discover a gap between your intent and impact:

Heart-centered email marketing

Sometimes being a caring human being is hard, because it isn't just about good intentions.

It's also about attentive to the actual impact of our communications. It's about recognizing that behind every email address is a real human with needs that might be different from own. And it's about using automation in a way that honors that humanity.

I dive much deeper into this topic in my recent interview on the "Aggressively Human" podcast.

In the episode "Beyond 'Not Spam': Heart-Centered Email Marketing," we explore:

  • How to define what email marketing tactics are aligned with your values.
  • Why clear expectations in your welcome sequence are so important to set the tone with new subscribers, especially if they are joining from summits, bundles, or recommendations.
  • How giving subscribers more choice actually makes your emails more effective.

Take it one step at a time,
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Bev​​

Bev Feldman (she/her), Your Personal Tech Fairy 🍄

Personalized Kit (formerly ConvertKit) Support & Email Marketing Automation Strategy that's rooted in consent, deliverability best practices, and human connection.

As a solopreneur, I strive to incorporate my values of environmentalism and anti-racism and to build an inclusive and equitable business. I believe Black Lives Matter and I stand for LGBTQIA+ rights, including the rights of Transgender and Intersex people.


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